Vacation Lessons

This summer our goal was to take the girls on two mini-vacations: To see our friends Jeff & Barb who moved to Bedford, PA and to Erie to introduce all of the extended family to our Lilly Pickle. We have successfully completed both trips, and I think it's safe to say we learned some lessons along the way. Here are a few we'd like to share...

Vacations Lesson #14: If you give a 2 year old a "wand" so she can pretend to be a little fairy in the back seat of the car, she will use it to repeatedly poke the driver in the head.

Vacation Lesson #23. No matter the length or location of your trip, you are doomed to spend the last half hour stuck behind some slowpoke ambling along at 20mph below the speed limit. This is the unshakable law of car trips. I think it might even be one of Newton's laws... look it up.

Vacation Lesson#29. Clean the bathroom BEFORE you leave on vacation. The last thing you'll want to face when you get home is 9 loads of laundry, a grocery trip, AND a filthy bathroom.

Vacation Lesson #36. If your kids go *gasp* 3 whole days without a full bath, they will not spontaneously combust.

Vacation Lesson #41. If you happen to go to the zoo and you stumble across some innocent looking, fluffy creatures and the sign above the cage reads, "Lemurs," IMMEDIATELY walk away! The innocence is a carefully contrived act! In reality, they are attempting to lure you closer with their cuteness so they can suddenly emit a horrible shrieking sound and terrify your children. This must be what lemurs in captivity do for fun.

Vacation Lesson #45. Somewhere in the 6th consecutive hour of listening to the same disturbingly chipper kid's cd, an adult's brain will turn into tapioca and begin oozing out the ears. (At least it sure did feel like it.)

Vacation Lesson #57. Preschoolers find hideous, giant carp highly entertaining.

Vacation Lesson #62. You can cram an astounding amount of baby gear into a Toyota Matrix.