A Tacky/Classy Yuletide Extravaganza

We hosted a Christmas Party last week. Not just any party, mind you. An Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.

Except we raised the bar when it comes to an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.

We raised the bar, duct taped it to a rocket, and shot it

right

through

the

roof.

Perhaps I need to offer up pictures as evidence...

Don't get too excited girls. All these dashing gentlemen are spoken for. Aren't we some lucky ladies?

I feel I need to add it was entirely their idea. And I wasn't privy to the conversation that began in the innocuous "Let's have a Christmas Party" range and quickly snowballed from "Let's make it an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party!" to the end result: A No Holds Barred, Eyeball-Assaulting, Horrendously Tacky Christmas Ensemble Party.

Andy will tell you he had nothing to do with it. In fact, when I informed him of The Plan, he merely blinked at me. He was not enthused.

Or amused.

He did, however, consent to don his Christmas sweater, complete with last-minute bonus accoutrements (Thank you dollar store), some flame-red corduroy pants borrowed from a friend (Sexy!) and actually allowed me to point a camera in his direction. If you are struggling for a tactful description of such an outfit, let me offer you "festive." It was the buzz word of the evening.

Although I'm pretty sure "festive" doesn't begin to cover these fellas... 

Important Notes: The stylin' golf pants, the evergreen tutu, the fur cuffs swiped from miscellaneous Santa hats, the dangling star above his head, and the green battery pack at his hip because, although our cameras did not capture it, this whole outfit actually lights up. His look of pain is due to the string of lights around his neck cutting off his oxygen supply. Really.

If you are thinking, "That man's entire outfit consists of woman's clothing!" You'd be wrong. The shoes, the tie, and the hat were made for a man. I think. Everything else is straight off the ladies' rack. He was especially proud of the women's size 14 pants he poured himself into.

And the reigning champ of this year's Ugly Christmas Sweater Competition:

A photo just doesn't do this ensemble justice. If only you could have seen the intricate detail of the shoes, the candy canes sewn with care up the sleeves, the pom-pom trim, the green jingle bells, the meticulously decorated Santa hat, and the individually lit snowflakes on the sweater. This outfit wins by default for the sheer number of painstaking hours that went into its creation.

And the back, so you can get a true sense of the awesomeness:

We are still finding little pieces of Nelson The Evil Elf lying all over the house.

I will throw in a picture of the "classy" portion of our evening, even though none of our outfits have battery powered accessories or jingle bells.

If perhaps, you are wondering how we will ever top this next year, just think:

decades

old

prom

dresses.

Yah, baby.