Words

Words. Janelle is full of them. It is rarely quiet in our house now. A little girl's chatter fills in all the empty silences, narrates our life, and has become our family soundtrack. She is surprisingly adept at expressing herself. Paragraphs flow from her mouth with ease, interrupted by pauses when she expects answers to her Why? questions. She has so many questions... Why is it snowing? Why is Lilly still little? Why am I coughing? Why are bananas good for me? Why is it Fall? And those were only today.

Although the Why? questions can occasionally reach a level of tiresome frequency, Andy and I are thrilled with this whole new degree of communication. We talk over Saturday morning pancakes, while we push her on Barney's swing after dinner, in the car on the way to Nana & Papa's, and afternoon stroller rides to library. We are greeted by a torrent of words when I open her bedroom door first thing in the morning or when Andy opens the mudroom door when he returns from work.

But my favorite talks are during bedtime cuddles when she and I are stretched out in her big girl bed. The nightlight is dim in the corner and Nelly is buried in a pile of blankets with only her head peaking out. We lay on our bellies, faces turned toward each other, close enough that I can feel her breath on my cheek. We talk and we whisper. I sing Jesus Loves Me and sometimes she sings with me. She tells me she loves me and I tell her I love her, too, although that doesn't seem adequate. How do I tell her that she will always be my baby Bean, that she carries a part of my heart wherever she goes, or that her life has made me a better person? Words aren't enough.